411. Finding Off-the-Charts Love in Midlife
Coaching was totally suited to Sandy’s nature, but the exhilaration she felt in much of her life did not extend to her own dating relationships. To her surprise, helping her divorced friends polish their profiles for dating apps and websites led her to use her talents in a brand new way.
Sandy Weiner, founder of Last First Date, is devoted to helping women over 40 achieve healthy, off-the-charts love. An internationally known TEDx speaker, dating coach, and online course creator, Sandy specializes in helping women communicate effectively, set clear boundaries in relationships, and truly value themselves.
How Did You Start Using Your Talents?
Born to parents who fought a lot, Sandy learned early about mismatched marriage partners. This kind of environment didn’t help her learn about creating healthy relationships of her own, so she married her own mismatch on a rebound from a failed relationship. After her divorce, she immersed herself in learning all she could about dating and relationships. She also connected with the Coaches Training Institute (CTI). “I loved the training. It totally transformed me.”
The Most Impactful Turning Point?
“Through the coaching, I started tapping into doing what I love, but things still weren’t working in terms of dating and relationships. I began helping my friends–who were in the dating world before I was–after their own divorces. I saw that I had a natural ability to understand men, and that I could help my female friends write their online profiles, because they were doing such a bad job of it. I love working with women over 40, helping them understand themselves and recognize what makes a good relationship and what doesn’t, and how to walk away quickly from the wrong ones, and how to move more quickly to the ones that are right for them.”
The Most Powerful Lessons Learned?
“It’s really about valuing yourself and knowing how you want to be treated by men, and really by everybody in your life. Often, when you’re not treated well by a man you are also not treated well by your child, your parents, your co-workers, your friends. It’s really about knowing those standards and knowing how to firmly set boundaries, without being mean.”
Steps to Success from Sandy Weiner
1. Value yourself and know how you want to be treated.
2. Learn how to firmly set boundaries in relationships.
3. Don’t pursue relationships using a check-all-the-boxes approach. Bring your heart into the process.
4. Especially for people in mid-life and older seeking relationships, online dating services like Match.com are essential, but primarily for making connections, not necessarily for dating.
On Her Bookshelf
The Success Principles – 10th Anniversary Edition: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, by Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini
Top Tools on Her Browser
Marriage and couples, research-based approach to strengthening relationships, Robert Levinson and John Gottman
Match.com – Valuable, especially for making connections, not necessarily for dating
Connecting With Sandy Weiner
Website URL: lastfirstdate.com
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